There are good reasons to have reasonable fears in this life, but nothing devastates the spirit, dreams and aspirations, more than our unreasonable fears.
We all experience fear. Fear, feeds on our emotional and spiritual weakness. Our lack of faith, in something larger and more important than ourselves.
Those who tell you that they don’t experience fear, but they are all either lying, or they are legitimately insane. Disconnected from our reality. There are good reasons to have reasonable fears in this life. A bear chasing you in the wilderness, for example, is often reason enough. You may not respond in fear, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t experiencing any.
Ask the average person or yourself, what we fear the most!, and the answers would be mostly predictable, and wrong. Death, taxes, job loss, poverty, personal rejection, embarrassment, public speaking, and so on. But these answers are all wrong.
The real answer, for what we fear the most is something to do with ourselves.
Healthy vs. an unhealthy fear.
Reasonable levels of fear will actually keep you generally safe, and away from life threatening dangers. Reasonable fears can serve as a powerful motivator in business, and your professional success too. This is the healthy and natural version of fear genetically built in everyone of us.
The fact that a fear gene exists suggests that we all come into this world with a predisposition for a certain level of fear. The notion that some people over-respond and some under-respond to certain situations seems to lie greatly on their genes differences.
The unhealthy kind of fears can inhabits our daily lives. This is the kind of fear that can overwhelms our very being, whenever professionally stressed, financially pressed, emotionally charged, or spiritually challenged. The good news is that this unhealthy fear is mostly in our heads. It can be brought under control.
The way we overcome our fear is simple: courage. Courage is nothing more than believing in yourself, reaching through your fear, and taking action.
10 Ways to conquer your fears:
1. Take time out
It feels impossible to think clearly when you’re flooded with fear or anxiety. A racing heart, sweating palms and feeling panicky and confused are the result of adrenalin. So, the first thing to do is
take time out so you can physically calm down.
Distract yourself from the worry for 15 minutes by walking around the block, making a cup of tea or having a bath. When you’ve physically calmed down, you’ll feel better able to decide on the best way to cope.
2. What’s the worst that can happen?
When you’re anxious about something, be it work, a relationship or an exam, it can help to think through what the worst end result could be. Even if a presentation, a call or a conversation goes horribly wrong, chances are that you and the world will survive. Sometimes the worst that can happen is a panic attack.
Stay where you are and simply feel the panic without trying to distract yourself. Placing the palm of your hand on your stomach and breathing slowly and deeply (no more than 12 breaths a minute) helps soothe the body.
It may take up to an hour, but eventually the panic will go away on its own. The goal is to help the mind get used to coping with panic, which takes the fear of fear away.
3. Expose yourself to the fear
Avoiding fears only makes them scarier. If you panic one day getting into a lift, it’s best to get back into a lift the next day. Stand in the lift and feel the fear until it goes away.
Whatever your fear, if you face it, it should start to fade.
4. Welcome the worst
Each time fears are embraced, it makes them easier to cope with the next time they strike, until in the end they are no longer a problem. Try imagining the worst thing that can happen – perhaps it’s panicking and having a heart attack. Then try to think yourself into having a heart attack. It’s just not possible.
The fear will run away the more you chase it.
5. Get real
Fears tend to be much worse than reality. Often, people who have been attacked can’t help thinking they’re going to be attacked again every time they walk down a dark alley. But the chance that an attack will happen again is actually very low.
6. Don’t expect perfection
Life is full of stresses, yet many of us feel that our lives must be perfect. Bad days and setbacks will always happen, and it’s essential to remember that life is messy.
Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine a place of safety and calm: it could be a picture of you walking on a beautiful beach, or snuggled up in bed a happy memory from childhood. Let the positive feelings soothe you until you feel more relaxed.
8. Talk about it
Sharing fears takes away a lot of their scariness. If you can’t talk to a partner, friend or family member, call a helpline such as the Samaritans.
9. Go back to basics
A good sleep, a wholesome meal and a walk are often the best cures for anxiety. The easiest way to fall asleep when worries are spiralling through the mind can be to stop trying to nod off. Instead, try to stay awake.
10. Reward yourself
Finally, give yourself a treat every time you face your fear.